


may the bridges I have burned light my way back home

by bright_lights_big_dreams



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ashton is quite wild, He left, I don't even know anymore, Inspired by fourth of july by fob, M/M, Mashton, and Michael's still in love, and fireworks, and is remembering, happy ending i guess, he likes fireworks, it's Michael thinking about Ashton, long title, that is literally the plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:23:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5390933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bright_lights_big_dreams/pseuds/bright_lights_big_dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael swears they were fucking amazing together, they were like fucking fireworks but the problem with fireworks is that they explode then they're gone, they finish too quickly and burn out, leaving only a trail of smoke behind them that disappears too in the end. </p><p>Or the one when Ashton leaves and Michael is thinking</p>
            </blockquote>





	may the bridges I have burned light my way back home

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to fourth of July and this happened. I'm not even sure what this tbh. Thanks for reading and I hope you like it :)

Michael had always liked fireworks. Ever since he was young he'd loved the loud noises and the pretty colours so it was no wonder he'd been drawn to Ashton. The boy was bursting with colour and noise and Michael didn't even try to resist being swept along in the chaos that made up his being. They had met at a mutual friends party and everything had happened so quickly, within a month they were officially dating and within 3 they had pretty much moved in with each other.

It was like a fucking story, this whirlwind romance that was closer to a hurricane. Michael swears they were fucking amazing together, they were like fucking fireworks but the problem with fireworks is that they explode then they're gone, they finish too quickly and burn out, leaving only a trail of smoke behind them that disappears too in the end. 

It wasn't like anything had gone drastically wrong, the colours had just faded a little. Life was getting in the way, while Michael had been trying to get his together and grow up a bit Ashton had been more than happy to keep the storm that surrounded him raging and what had originally pulled Michael to the curly haired boy was quickly becoming the thing pushing them apart, it was ironic really.

It wasn't like their relationship had only been chaotic either. For every insane, adrenaline fuelled event that repeated itself in Michael's head every night there were plenty of peaceful, calming, loving moments that made his heart ache even more and maybe those were the ones that were stopping him from deleting the pictures from his phone.

He missed waking up next to Ashton. As cliché and as lame as it sounded he honestly missed the feeling of a warm body next to his when he woke and he missed the early morning company of the boy who he loved. Ashton had been gone for a few months now, but Michael still couldn't help thinking that maybe if he'd just agreed to go with the smiling boy, if he'd have just said yes that he would still be waking up next to him, but he was never going to know now, was he?

However much he let his mind wonder, Michael knew deep down he had done the right thing. He'd just got a new job, he needed the income and the normality, he couldn't live like a tornado forever. Ashton, on the other hand, had other ideas. He had come home one day, raving about an idea one of his mates had, he wanted to go travelling.

'Just think about it Mikey! It's gonna be so great! We could wake up in, god, I don't know, Thailand and just decide that we wanted to go to America! Just-'

Ashton had been so happy, so excited, like a little puppy it almost hurt Michael to burst his bubble, but he knew he had to. He tried not to think about when he had told Ashton no, he hadn't done it much. He had watched Ashton's face drop slightly, an almost confused expression resting on his face.

'Why?'

So Michael had explained. He was settling down, he couldn't run off whenever like Ashton could, he was growing up and trying to get his life together.

Ashton had paused for a moment, his expression changing to something Michael couldn't quite decipher before speaking, 'Oh, okay then.'

And as quickly as everything had begun it was all over. Within a week and a half Ashton had left the country and Michael was on his own. He was burnt out, Ashton had kept him burning but now he was gone and Michael couldn't keep himself alight any more. It wasn't like they had officially broken up or anything, there was no closure, the relationship had just been left hanging. Neither of them had said anything, there had just been a mutual, silent agreement that they weren't the same any more. They both knew that they wouldn't be able to deal with a long distance relationship. 

There was one moment, the day before he left, that Michael had thought Ashton was going to say something. The bright eyed boy had been packing his bag as Michael walked into the bedroom. They had made eye contact, and Michael swore he had seen something different in Ashton's eyes, something he hadn't really seen before, it looked like sadness but Ashton was never sad, not in front of other people anyway. Michael had held his breath for a moment, wondering if Ash was going to say something but all too soon the moment was over and Ashton had looked away and Michael had let out a shaky breath.

Michael had accepted that Ashton was never going to come back, he had accepted that months ago but he didn't understand why he couldn't just move on. He wanted to be able to spend the day at his shitty job without thinking that this was what he gave Ashton up for. He wanted to be able to go into Starbucks in the winter without thinking about how Ashton had fucking loved pumpkin spiced lattes and he wanted to be able to listen to his favourite songs that Ash had also loved and fuck he wanted every song to stop leading his mind back to curly brown hair and hazel eyes and massive smiles. He wanted to get over Ashton but the longer it was taking the more worried he was that it was never going to happen.

Sometimes Michael wondered whether Ashton ever thought about him. He liked to think he did, he liked to think that, just sometimes Ashton let his mind drift to what he had left behind and maybe even regret it a little, but those thoughts were just in his head and he had no idea where Ashton even was or what he was doing. He could've met someone else, fuck, he could be dead for all Michael knew.

Michael wishes they'd talked a bit more. He knew Ashton had loved him, but he didn't know what he loved about him. Michael knows that he loved Ashton's hair and the gleam in his eye and his lips, he had told Ashton countless times but Ashton had never told him, he was always a lot more conservative with his words and emotions, and if he was being honest Michael hadn't cared. Having Ashton had been enough, he didn't need anything else from him, it just would have been nice.

It was bonfire night. Last year he and Ashton had spent bonfire night together, they had stayed out until 3 in the morning, roaming the streets with sparklers in one hand and cans of beer in the other. He didn't want to go out this year. It was the first time he could remember not going out to see the fireworks. 

He was currently sat in front of the tv, wearing one of his favourite green day shirts and wrapped up in a duvet. He could hear the fireworks going off outside but he wasn't even tempted to look. He knew they would just make him think of the person he wanted to forget.

He was almost falling asleep when the sound of a key in the lock woke him up. It took his brain a moment to catch up with what was happening. A key in the lock? Only one other person had a key to this house and unless he had given it to someone else...

Michael held his breath as he listened to the front door close and heard a bag hit the floor. A coat was unzipped and presumably hung up somewhere, or possibly just dropped on the floor.

The door to the front room opened and Michael felt like he was about to explode when a familiar figure stepped through the doorway.

His hair was longer than when he had left, and his muscles were bigger and his skin was more tanned, but the light in his eyes and the smirk he wore on his face were exactly the same and Ashton was back.

"I'm home babe," Ashton's smirk only grew as the words left his lips, "Have you missed me?"


End file.
